This Is Your Time
As a young professional/twenty something/ aspiring secret agent, we’ve all seen those never ending Elite Daily or Thought Catalog articles on “How to make the most of your 20s” or “Are you really doing life the right way?” Obviously, we keep reading them in hopes that they would share something we don’t already know and enlighten us forever but sadly, how much of that article do you actually try out the next day or the following week? If you are like me, then probably none of it. Zip. Zilch. Zero. In a world where we are so connected, we tend to consciously and subconsciously measure success and happiness based off of how we size up against others. Whether it’s the girl from HS who already has 2 cute kids and is living a settled life or your sorority sister who somehow got her shit together in college and is living the big city #blessed life – we cannot help but feel behind in life when scrolling up and down our newsfeed and insta pages.
You’re probably wondering why I’m writing all this and quite frankly, I’m thinking the same thing too. At some point or another, we’ve all been that frustrated person who reads their horoscope, skims endless life articles and stalks people on Facebook hoping to get some answers on what the F*#K they should be doing with their life. Below is a list of revelations I’ve had since graduation that honestly changed my life and hopefully changes yours in one way or another!
Don’t look at the “Big Picture” or make concrete long-term goals
We’re all told to constantly think ahead and make plans accordingly. We’re told to not sweat the small stuff and the big picture is more important. While all of that is true to an extent, it is not the end all be all. At the tender age of 23 (almost 24), I looked back at the goals I had made for myself in college and realize I was wayyyyy off. While some of them did work out, life isn’t how I imagined it would be and I figured out a way to be okay with that. I started making small goals for myself instead to work towards the big goals. If you sweat over the small stuff, the big stuff will eventually fall into place. Whether it is making to the gym after work or meeting a deadline in time, if you start to zoom in on the small things- you will feel more accomplished in a short amount of time. All of those goals will eventually amount to the larger goal: A BETTER- HAPPIER- AWESOMER- you.
Stop labeling yourself. Literally just stop.
Society tends to label us, whether it’s the ever popular #BasicBetch label or the Buzzfeed quizzes that will instantly tell you what kind of person you are based off of 10 pictures you pick. Like what. How do we even take that remotely seriously. (don’t act as if you didn’t have that “omg that’s so me” moment.) A lot of people our age and even older are constantly trying to fit into a mold. We’ve all been there at one or several points in our lives but in reality, it’s not even worth it. Slowly learn to do things on your own, even if it is something your friends don’t want to do. If you want to do something out of the ordinary, go for it. If you want to be that person that has to be a part of everything to avoid FOMO or Netflix instead of going out – just do it. Don’t think twice if people are going to judge you for it or not.
Come up with your own definition of success
Success isn’t the same for everyone (Captain Obvious moment, I know) but really, success isn’t the same for everyone and it never will be. If you’re the type of person who defines success based off of what other people your age or a little bit older have accomplished then you will always feel inadequate. Why is that you ask? Because you never know what or how people are thinking and feeling on the inside. I know so many people who are outwardly very successful but on the inside completely miserable. Success goes hand in hand with the goals you make for yourself. So set goals that align with who you are and not what others expect of you.
Learn to be alone
Alone can mean different things to different people. Some tag the term alone to loneliness and singlehood while others tag it to independence. I fall into the latter category. Do people like those needy girls who constantly need to be told that they’re pretty and loved and need to document in every single snap chat story and collect people wherever they go just to prove they have some sort of presence? No, they definitely do not. Our millennial, connected culture has wired us to do things solely for the validation of other people. I’ve noticed a lot of people have this fear that doing life on their own, whether it is eating alone, gymming alone or finally breaking up with that piece of shit toxic human being called your boyfriend, and finding you again. In the near future, pick one thing to do on a semi regular basis that is just for you. Something you don’t need to share with others but something that provides happiness for you and your mind only. Once you take this small step, you will start to find comfort in doing more activities on your own and you will in turn, feel happier, more secure and confident.
Honestly, I could go on and on about how to approach things but I’m not a life guru, nor do I plan to be. I think if you even try one of the aforementioned suggestions, you will start to carve your own path to confidence and success. xx.